Greener Grass

Before I get going I have to give a few thanks ....first to all of my sweet friends who have emailed, called, and commented here...I LOVE YALL!!! Yes....I KNOW that he totally missed out on a GREAT girl...(and the best part is that I say that with 100% of my heart believing it!!!) And...to all of those who offered to cause him bodily harm...yall are tooooo funny....but thanks...glad to know that so many people have my back!!!

Oh...and for those of you who said I should make this into a book....let me just say....PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't let me have enough to say on this topic that it could ever turn into a book. Hopefully this will be a very short chapter in the love story that God is writing for me!!

Well...I'm sorry for leaving yall hanging...but this being open and honest thing has been more difficult than I thought. Not so much sharing it but really being able to process my feelings myself. Such a huge part of me wants to say hey all is good...life is perfect...I love the freedom of being single..BUT we all know that those are all partial truths! For those of you who don't know me well...please know that I am well past the idealism/romanticism that I had in my early 20's...and I don't want this to ever sound like a whiny..."I just want to get married so I'll be happy" moment. I am not waiting for a knight in shining armour to come in and make life perfect...I know that marriage isn't all about romantic evenings, soft music, and candles. I'm so grateful that I didn't get married when I was younger because the expectations I would have had of a husband would have been unattainable for any man. I thank God for the priceless gift of time to watch other marriages...both strong and utter disasters! How many blessings should I count from lessons learned during this time of singleness. Lessons that I've been able to learn without having to carry the emotional baggage along with me into my own relationship. Anyway....I guess all that to say that I KNOW that marriage isn't a fairy tale...but neither is being a bachellorette. Why do we always see the green grass in another pasture...I will be the first to admit that singleness has some perks...I can pretty much do what I want, when I want, and have as many shoes as I want without having to clear it with anyone. BUT...I'd give up the great new shoes, the sassy dress and the SWEET new bag for someone to pray with every night, someone to find encouragement from, someone who makes me feel like I'm home....I'd trade it...even my favorite heels...in a heartbeat. BUT today it's not a trade I have to make so I'm going to chose to enjoy the blessings of singleness...ok I'm supposed to be honest...so I'll say I'm going to remind myself of them and try to make the right choice...no guarantees!!

Ok...this is NOT what I had been planning on sharing with yall...there is a totally different topic I've been dealing with for the last week, and as I've opened myself up and tried to confront it I've been absolutely shocked to see how universal a struggle it is. I'm amazed that we can be so unique, have such diverse stories and histories, and still seem to fight the same battles. Ahhh...could it be that we battle the same enemy?? ok peeps...as much as I don't want to...I think I'm gonna put this on hold...It is a topic better saved for my next post...when I have a fresh brain!! (It's 2:00 am and I really wish I could sleep!!!) So...I promise to get back soon...

SO...goodnight all...to my single friends...enjoy it...do what ya love...have fun and learn a few lessons in the process...don't waste this God given season wishing it away! How many days have I wasted wishing/praying my singleness away instead of living today and squeezing every second out of that gift. And to my married girls...love that man...even when he irritates you, be grateful that he tried to load the dishwasher...even if he didn't get it just right, initiate a little romance...why does he have to do all the work...and sit down and watch the stinkin' game with him (not talk through it)...it won't kill you...I promise!!! Whether you are single or married, parents or not just yet...cherish the relationships you have...spouses, friends, children, siblings, coworkers..nurture them, invest in them...they no doubt need it!!

And to the writer of our story... Lord, thank you for seasons....thank you for time that I far to often throw away and for multiple chances to learn lessons I should have caught the first time. Thank you for giving me a glimpse of that other pasture but keeping me in mine till I'm ready!