Prayer

Oh sweet friends...all I can say is I need prayer!! I am struggling today. Lots of pain the last couple of days. I know some of why I hit such a hard place and some I have no clue.

What I feel today is such a huge hole in my heart. I pray every morning, every night that GOD fill that hole. That God fill me with HIS perfect love. I don't understand WHY it still hurts this much...I don't understand WHY God doesn't start to take the pain away. I am soooooooooo tired of crying. I am so tired of hurting. I KNOW it is getting better...but I don't get why I have to hurt...he doesn't hurt...she doesn't hurt....and I ache to my soul...I hurt everyday!!! I don't get it and it's not fair!!! I'm angry....I want a button that will make him feel for just a day what I have felt....I want him to see the utter devastation he caused....I want him to experience what he put me through!! And then there is part of me that just wants it all to be ok....I want to wake up and it be a bad dream...but it's not!!!

Just pray....I need God's healing NOW....I feel like I can't keep doing this...I just want to heal...I want to be past this...I know he can take away the pain....not sure why he doesn't!